I get so many emails and messages each day on how to handle betrayal, haters, nay-sayers and non-believers. Let me be the first to tell you that it’s not an easy thing. As Sylvester Stallone told me personally. you have to take that negative energy and sort of turn it into a driving force. People often wonder why I fight back against haters and why do I even give them attention. Well perhaps like Stallone says, I have used that fuel to drive me and not give them the satisfaction of failing. Haters are like bullies and they often either keep hating because no one ever says anything back or they hate because they can’t do it themselves and would rather see you fail because if you do, they feel better about themselves for not succeeding.
The lesson should be
“Whoever is trying to bring you down is below you”
You never see successful people hating on others because they are too busy focusing on their business. I cannot recall one time in my whole entrepreneurial career where someone that is more successful than me, hating on my success. So I figure I would write this blog post to share with you that the same problems you have, I have too and hopefully offer a wake up call for haters to do the right thing.
I will now share two stories of betrayal I experienced in 2014. Not that these people should be protected but for the time being I will keep their names out. Although I am very tempted to share, because the best way to call a bully is to call them out.
Story of Betrayal #1
Imagine you have someone come to your event; they use to be somewhat successful, they are now at the bottom of the barrel, have a chip on their shoulder, is a “know it all” and are stuck financially. They need more help than anyone else but are skeptical because asking for help is not something they ever had to do. I saw such person in a new country I was entering and I decided to personally invest time with them. Become their friend, help their kid become successful, take them all around the world, brand them, help them make great money, bring them along to meetings with billionaires, media appearances, allow them to speak on your stage and even invite them into your home. Bottom line is, I brought them into my very small inner circle. Being in the inner circle of successful people is probably one of the hardest things to get into, but staying there can be just as hard because if you don’t move as fast as they do you will find yourself out of the loop quickly. Imagine the disappointment and shock that when I am in an event next to a student, a Facebook message pops out from this person saying how I am not to be trusted, my coaching is not worth it and making it seem like they shouldn’t do business with them. Despite the fact that I had helped this person so much, I decided to just forgive and forget like a lot of people suggested I do. Yet this person was at it again and upset that although I didn’t publicly retaliate they continued to attack me vaguely with ambiguous Facebook posts but everyone knows who they were talking about. Yet I ignored again but it was not until before the holidays I found out that when I would bring this person on stages to validate my success, they went off of stage & he would try to sell his program to people who approached him and was successful numerous times. Who does that? Endorse you on stage in front of 3,000 people and then sabotage you when people come to you. I have discovered over 9 other incidents at least of similar behavior. The question is why? Jealousy! There are people who just can’t handle people’s success and they are just bad to the core. They say one thing to your face and do another thing behind your back.
Betrayal Story #2
Imagine meeting someone who you finally look up to as a parenting figure. If you know my family history you will know I suffered a lot and I have been missing that person close to me saying “great job” to me. I had found this person and developed a very close relationship, yet around October of last year I found that a few of the confessions I had given this person, were mocked and this person attempted to discredit me. I am amazed at what people will say publicly in front of your face and what people will do behind your back. I have always been very closely guarded, always afraid that some of things I shared would come back to haunt me when people wanted to hurt me. It was the first time in 8 years I opened up and of course once I did, sure enough it came back to haunt me.
Now why am I telling you this? Because as much as it sucks you can trust people and you always have to trust but verify. The following lessons, I hope change the way people talk and do business together.
The 3 most important characteristics that I look for in a person is loyalty, relationship and results. Successful people follow loyalty just as much as any other quality if not more. Everyone will say they are loyal but loyalty is proven when tested, not by words
If you have something bad to say about someone else say it to their face. Don’t even listen to third party accounts of what someone says and get it straight from them personally.
If you hear someone say something bad about someone, then step up. Too many people say nothing because they either want to avoid conflict or don’t want to get involve. If I am in a group and hear something bad, I will often say, hey this person is not here to defend themselves or I know them, here is their number, let me call them and you can tell it to them personally. Most of them end up being cowards and start stuttering like I used to do many, many years ago because they are not use to being called up.
Protect your brand at all cost. What happens on Google stays on Google forever and many people when they want to hurt you they will go online and put fake reviews and false accusations. I myself have been the victim of that as many other successful people have as well. I would hate for you to lose clients because when they Google you they find a false story about you and you end up losing the business because of it. Remember if you don’t control your brand it’s like driving a car with no one at the wheel and you are in the passenger seat.
Don’t get emotional about it, accept that part of success is that there will be haters and jealous people and when you are emotional some of the haters lose the attention because that is the only time where they get any. So keep your cool but be strong, remember haters make you famous.
It’s already hard enough to succeed and when you add evil forces like the stories I mentioned above, it can make being successful that much harder. Remember business is a game and every move you make or don’t make has consequences.
If you want to read my powerful blog about dispelling all the fake stories about me
If you want to read about my 3 personalities and who I am really, then read the following posts.
In the end I love talking about the subject because I get thousands of emails and social media messages thanking me for standing up against bullies, haters and nay-sayers. The truth is we are all underdogs and when my new book Millionaire Underdog comes out it will redefine the rules of success and even the playing field.
Let the haters drink their HATERADE, they are just miserable human beings that just are here on borrowed time and one day will answer to karma.
Don’t believe me? Just watch.
– JT Foxx